Jeff Kristian

THE DIVA WAS BORN

MAGAZINE ARTICLE BY JEFF KRISTIAN / 2016

A handful of years ago, a dear friend of mine Tiffaney Wells called me with a dilemma. She had been cast in a feature film by a young director named Salem Kapsaski and needed a song to sing in what was to be a musical, would I write a and produce one? Her character Gena was to be a wealthy Jewish woman of a certain age, so the song had to reflect this. She put me in touch with Mr Kapsaski, I got sent a script and the tune Sing A Happy Song was born. Thankfully, everyone liked it and I suggested to the director to let me know if I could help further. 'Actually,' he grinned, 'we need another twelve songs!' And so my rollercoaster ride with the comedy horror movie Spidarlings began. 

Over the next few months, I toiled like a mad seamstress to weave the perfect music and lyrics. A few songs in, Salem suggested that I should be in the film and sing one of my own songs. But the script was already written and the film was already cast, so he would write a part especially for me and add it to the existing story. It was a great honour, but what kind of character would I like to play? 

Spidarlings tells the story of young lesbian couple Eden and Matilda, played gloriously by Sophia Disgrace and Rahel Kapsaski, who are attempting to survive by fiddling the benefits system in broken Britain. Buying a pet tarantula named Rainer turns their world around. To help make ends meet, Matilda has a job as one of the working ladies in a dubious gentlemen's club called Juicy Girls. This seemed the most likely location to be able to squeeze in a new character. Two of the film's songs were already set there, performed on a little stage for the patrons by the club's owner The Bear (Victor Sobchak) and his wife The Bitch (Gabriella Kapsaski). Salem asked if I'd like a scene with the spider. Of course I declined, although I did want to have a scene with the lead actor Lee Mark Jones, who played psychopathic Ticks, a regular at the club. Perhaps the answer would be for me to play a transgender prostitute? Who in the past had had a covert sordid affair with Ticks? My song could be about unrequited love? Salem loved the idea! But I could see a possible problem. Being a horror film, most of the characters are actually grotesques and I didn't want to create a woman that would reflect badly on the transgender community. Far too often, we see trans ladies played as over-exaggerated parodies or simply as drag, I definitely didn't want that to happen again. 

Sitting on the train to London for a meeting with Salem, this responsibility played heavily on my mind. We sat outside a small café on Old Compton Street in Soho, trying to decide who this lady of the night would be. As we pondered, a rather marvellous transgender woman strutted confidently past our table. Tall and slender, she wore a two piece fawn suit with tan strapped stilettos and a rather large matching handbag with gold clips, looped inside her left elbow. Her left hand was tightly encased with a brown kid-leather glove, her other hand held one loosely, which swayed as she walked. Her makeup was glorious and atop her natural walnut bob was a hat to die for… an upturned felt bowl at a jaunty angle with a single pheasant feather fastened to the top by a bejewelled-brooch. She looked as though she had just entered London through a wormhole from a nineteen-fifties Paris catwalk. 'There she is,' exclaimed Salem. 'That's The Diva!'

It wasn't so much the look of the lady in the street that had inspired us, because my character had to perform on stage for the gentlemen in something a little more daring and provocative. But it was her attitude that would give The Diva her backbone. She would have style, pazzazz, be tough and ooze strength. The song 'Stronger Every Day' was born, with lyrics expressing how her life had moved on, despite never being the same as before the loss of her secret lover. It was her defiance that coloured her attitude. Like the woman in the street, there was clearly a history that had given her this dynamic vitality. It put me in mind of the strength and courage of transgender ladies of today and their ability to live as their true selves against all adversity in a world filled with selfish, badly educated people driven to harm and spite. Despite prior concerns that my character may misrepresent the trans community, I now had confidence that The Diva would actually tell a true and believable story that people could relate to… and that she would perhaps help educate a few along the way! 

And so to work. Her hair would be luscious and fire-red, to match her defensive temperament. Her makeup would be theatrical for her role on stage at Juicy Girls but feminine, not too draggy. And her dress would be sexy to attract the men and blue, to match her mood. I found a beautiful pleated chiffon off-the-shoulder number, corseted at the torso and pulled in at the waist with a flared, ballerina-like short skirt. The tough woven lace fastening at the back was literally breath taking, but luckily I only had to lip-synch to a pre-recorded backing track and not sing live. And the whole ensemble was topped with a white diamond brooch to the front with matching earrings and necklace and booties with an eight-inch sharp heel. I am quite short and my co-star Lee quite tall, so this would bring us practically eye-to-eye in the close-up shots on camera. But despite having worked professionally in drag for a quarter of a century, I still had to practice walking in these! 

Suddenly it was announced that Victor (The Bear) would not be singing his song introducing the women at the club, so naturally The Diva could take his place, making her the matriarch of the dancing girls. This called for a ring-mistress costume! I hunted down a corseted bodice with a tight waist in electric blue, adorned with black, blue and white feathers. A miniature top hat fixed with a concealed Alice band, a silver-topped cane in matching blue glitter, stockings and suspenders completed the look. 

Then it was realised that The Bitch would not be able to perform her song because Gabriella's dual role as the film's producer allowed her no time to be on set at the right moment during the movie's gruelling schedule. It was decided this would be a third song for The Diva. I found this to be the most exciting development because its lyrics express the empowerment of women, whatever their role in life and whoever they may be. For this, I borrowed a long gunmetal grey gown in a nineteen-twenties flapper style, glorified with silver fluted beads, which sparkled in the stage lights. Finally, The Diva was born!