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  1. Kerching!
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Words and music by Jeff Kristian. Produced by Jeff Kristian at Sparkie's Little Music Factory, Kent and Soho Sonic, London.

Lyrics

Kerching!

Cat litter liners and
Bin bags with tie tops
Loo roll that’s scented like
Roses and snowdrops
Blue-green lasagne
A spray mist that tans ya
Orange bananas flown in from Espana
Twenty-five cheeses
A mask for your sneezes
A bag to store left over
Food as it freezes
Slippers that polish the
Floor as you’re walking
On vine tomatoes that
Still have the stalk in

Manipulative industry of mass production
Like a big experiment in group induction
Showing us things we never knew that existed
Selling us things we didn’t know that we needed
Lucrative marketing for world domination
Brightly coloured shelves full of every creation
Make us spend more than we earn when we shop
On crap like an extendable mop!
In out in out
In out in out

Wet or dry dog dinner
Plastic nose hair trimmer
Paint for your scalp to
Disguise when your hair’s thinner
Guava emollient
Papaya exfoliant
A box for nail clippings and
Plimsoll deodorant
Panty pad strap-ons
Gargantuan tampons
Lubricants, Stimulants
Latex-free condoms
A three-blade contraption for
Shaving your beaver
A perfume they tell you smells
Like Justin Bieber

Manipulative industry of mass production
Like a big experiment in group induction
Showing us things we never knew that existed
Selling us things we didn’t know that we needed
Lucrative marketing for world domination
Brightly coloured shelves full of every creation
Make us spend more than we earn when we shop
On shit like an extendable mop!
In out in out
In out in out